The worst day...
Oct. 2nd, 2009 03:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
seticatThey teach you in EMS that you'll be dealing with people who are having the worst day of their lives at the time you meet them.
This day is mine.
My heart, my soul and the man I've shared the last 22 years of my life with died very early this morning. I found him down, no pulse, called 911 and started CPR. The parameds, the fire department and the police were all here within minutes, but I think I knew in my heart when I found him that the very best efforts would still be too late.
He fought his demons as best he could - he was in pain the last few years, physical as well as in his soul. I'm *not* going to say his demons won - that's not like him at all. But something happened in the dark of the night that took him away from this world and on to the next.
His family here and I don't know the cause of death as of yet. An autopsy is in the works. I just came back from saying goodbye to his physical form. I talked and tried to say so many things that I hope he heard. And I left him with the very first necklace he ever saw me wearing and a pink just opening rose bud from the bush that's growing in wild abandon by the back door.
He was explicit that he did *not* want the 'formal funeral trappings' so as to his wishes, his mom and I saw him today and said our goodbyes at the funeral home. After all the legal aspects are dealt with, his mortal husk will be consigned to the fire and his ashes will be spread in places he loved. Those who wish a memorial shall have one and those who want a wake - he'd love that.
And I *know* that when it is my time, he'll be waiting for me at the end of the Rainbow Bridge. And arm in arm we will walk over it together and be reunited with all our friends both two legged and four in 'the Place Where No Shadows Fall'.
I love you, Jeff. I have loved you and I will always love you.
And Dear Gods I miss you...
This day is mine.
My heart, my soul and the man I've shared the last 22 years of my life with died very early this morning. I found him down, no pulse, called 911 and started CPR. The parameds, the fire department and the police were all here within minutes, but I think I knew in my heart when I found him that the very best efforts would still be too late.
He fought his demons as best he could - he was in pain the last few years, physical as well as in his soul. I'm *not* going to say his demons won - that's not like him at all. But something happened in the dark of the night that took him away from this world and on to the next.
His family here and I don't know the cause of death as of yet. An autopsy is in the works. I just came back from saying goodbye to his physical form. I talked and tried to say so many things that I hope he heard. And I left him with the very first necklace he ever saw me wearing and a pink just opening rose bud from the bush that's growing in wild abandon by the back door.
He was explicit that he did *not* want the 'formal funeral trappings' so as to his wishes, his mom and I saw him today and said our goodbyes at the funeral home. After all the legal aspects are dealt with, his mortal husk will be consigned to the fire and his ashes will be spread in places he loved. Those who wish a memorial shall have one and those who want a wake - he'd love that.
And I *know* that when it is my time, he'll be waiting for me at the end of the Rainbow Bridge. And arm in arm we will walk over it together and be reunited with all our friends both two legged and four in 'the Place Where No Shadows Fall'.
I love you, Jeff. I have loved you and I will always love you.
And Dear Gods I miss you...
